Jesus My Possession

Of course we never come right out and say that Jesus is my possession, but if we're honest with ourselves, we often think it. How do I come to this conclusion? Well, I think it is a mixture of careless language, which isn't really all that surprising or disturbing, but when coupled with selfish consumeristic living, it is a devilish combination.

I'll explain. We use phrases like, "my Jesus," "Jesus is mine," "my God." Now nothing is fundamentally wrong with personalizing the Divine-human connection in relation to yourself. However, it is wrong in the next breath to continue in the same vein to speak about "my salvation," "my blessings," "my spiritual gifts," my...my...my. This is what is starting to catch wind of what I'm pointing at. Even I think "my Jesus" is on the cusp of theological naughtiness. It can be construed of having a tone of acting as if one has ownership of the Divine. This is "my Jesus." Get your own Jesus teddy bear, because you can't have mine. This is "my Jesus" that I am possessive of that I hug and squeeze as mine.

Well, perhaps I have made light of this language and have taken it to an absurd extreme. But still, I think there is some truth in what I'm saying. Jesus is mine, and salvation is mine. Christianity gives me stuff, and that fits into my paradigm of a consumeristic American society. I get heaven and I get Jesus out of the deal. This leaves the flip side of the coin by the wayside. What does Jesus get from this one way business transaction. Where is the two way street? Is Jesus really satisfied being your trinket on your collectibles shelf?

If we act like Jesus is a mine, and we barrel aimlessly down a one-way Christian street that only consists of me, myself, and I, I will get bulldozed by the truth sooner or later. Once the demands of Jesus enter the discussion in a powerful way then Jesus gets accused of legalism. Oh wait, that's not how the story goes. Jesus isn't accused of legalism, we just never let Him speak openly on anything of real depth and self-sacrifice. The American church silences His voice and reinterprets the text instead, muffling his voice.

The question boils down coherently to the driving question underlying this whole issue, "Jesus is mine, but am I His?" Jesus is my Savior, but am I His servant? Once again, "Jesus is mine, but am I His?" If we border thinking that Jesus is my possession, do we ever get to the point where we ask, "am I His possession?"

The Human as Habits

When we ask the fundamental question, "Who am I?"

We are not our name, we are not our car, we are not the tag on our sheet. The movie "Fight Club" plays with this idea, and it's ultimately rooted in questions that existentialist philosophers ask. Names, possessions and symbols depict and articulate something, but they do not address the question, "who we are." I am currently toying with the notion that who we are is a compilation of our habits.

Who I am is a composition of my habits which I have created. Habitual routines comprise a large percentage of our day, so there may be not better analysis of who I am then to say I am a conglomerate of the multiple habit forming patterns that I have grooved into myself. Who I am exhibits itself in how I spend my time. And how I spend my time is large based on my habits. Ergo, I am a pattern of habits reinforcing "Nick's" being and existence each and every day by continually exerting once again the same habitual patterns.

The problem obviously is that as a Christian I am now told to throw off the old pattern and habits of life of my old self, and to put on the new found in Messiah Jesus. Therefore, pursuit of Christianity entails a vigorous pursuit of habit breaking and habit making. How well I do at following Jesus the Servant is answered by how well I am able to tear away from the clutches of the sinful habits of my past, and how powerfully I can exert my will to recreate myself through the power of prayer.

The missing fruit of my spirit

Fight Club says the following about what to do in order to gain focus.
"The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide." -Fight Club

As I think about the fruits of the Holy Spirit, I would do well to teach myself the fruit which deals most directly with battling oneself. That fruit is discipline. To gain self-discipline I grow increasingly more convinced that it means defeating one's self. Subdue the flesh, so the Holy Spirit can reign. Discipline has a sister, and her name is focus. Self-discipline is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, unfortunately it gets drowned out by the familiar things such as love.

I teach myself again today to let that which does not matter truly slide. To focus once again on that which does matter, and throw myself wholeheartedly into the purpose of my existence. Self-discipline and focus, two things not often preached, but two messages I need to daily preach to myself. May I count all things rubbish, so that I might gain Christ.

Seizing Life

Along the same vein of Pascal and further along in the history of philosophy, Kierkegaard and Nietzsche...the rest of the outworking flows from my corrupt and vile brain.

People do not even value, much less take charge of their own existence. Instead, they are filling their lives with various activities so as to divert their attention away from their own unfavorable attitude toward individual existence. Much of men's unhappiness arises from one single fact, that they cannot stay quietly in their own chamber.

We cannot contemplate our existence because it is too unsettling to forever set our gaze on our poverty, feebleness, and mortal condition. Nothing can comfort the soul when one is unwilling to yield to the Savior. Well, that is to say, nothing can comfort besides of course worldly distractions. And who is to say world distractions isn't real sustaining comfort? Many roll through life clinging to this very type of comfort!

The Savior holds the magic potion but the human would rather writhe in pain, rather than to succumb to the idea that he himself is atrociously sinful. But if one ever did choose to focus on the horrors within oneself then one should be compelled, no, that's not strong enough, rather one should be driven by an insane madness to change whatever is necessary to end one's impoverished state. Until one is driven to madness one cannot bear to be humiliated and crucified next to the Savior. Only mad men pray prayers such as, "That I may know Christ and him crucified." It is madness to first realize one's deep sin. At this moment of awareness of one's own deep sin one is driven to madness. It is nothing short of maddening to realize you aren't the good you always imagined yourself to be.

You can seize worldly distractions or you can seize the cross and pray for new life. Many will die never owning their life. Many resolutely refuse to see the deep seated problems within. Own your life. Seize the life God intended, a life to be lived at the foot of the cross.

Questions that matter

Asking myself questions that matter.

What gift will I give the rest of humanity?
What will I contribute to the human race?
What will I do that will justify my existence?
Will the rest of humanity say that it was good for me to have existed?

What I know is the following...
There is a tendency to implicitly give the idea that a positive existence should be linked to ideas of happiness, or how much fun a person can grab for oneself. An example of this would be coming to the conclusion that I have lived a good life, because I had a lot of smiles and happiness throughout my years. But I submit that this is dead wrong as an assessment for determining the quality of one's life. The quality of life should not be linked to how many smiles or how much happiness one can selfishly grab hold of for oneself.

Happiness sometimes gives a hint also of a selfish undercurrent where the individual is at center stage, and that the world exists for oneself and is at that person's personal disposal to fit one's fancies and whims. Christians are just as much of the problem as anyone else. Me included, I always see myself as part of the problem. I never speak of me on an island with the solutions looking in at the masses with the problems. In my mind I always preach to myself as the ultimate problem. Christians fall into the trap stripping Jesus from the voice he wishes to give when they try to make Jesus fill this selfish gap and void of personal whims and fancies in various ways, many times merely couching it in "spiritual terms" so that it seems less sinful and scandalous. Jesus isn't about fulfilling the whims and fancies surrounding a human's selfish definition of happiness and shallow reason for existence. Jesus' existence was about giving himself away, not about a greedy fat kid at Halloween trying to grab all that sweet tasty candy happiness for himself. Jesus gave himself wholly away to the other.

Christians are not exempt from such terrible traps of selfcenteredness. All such traps produced by the undercurrent of our American culture end in a useless existence. We see the byproduct of that today in our churches, because many Christians are absolutely useless in their service to the Lord. I don't believe this is a harsh assessment or overstatement in the least. We as a whole stand pathetic in our witness in America. We as a whole do indeed stand as totally useless when it comes to us being used by God as his servants. There is nothing meaningful in endless pursuit of happiness as our American culture defines happiness. Christians pursuing this kind of happiness doesn't have a redeeming affect on anyone. But on Sunday morning when the service ends and the doors open we still look unchanged, and look like a bunch of fat kids looking to go trick or treating. If I want to be utterly useless and incapable of being used by God all I need to do is to keep following a shallow definition of what it means to have a positive existence. A meaningful existence isn't about happiness or fun. I don't want to be another American fat kid craving a sugar high.

A positive existence should never be marked by how many times one is able to have fun experiences. But our churches seem to steer themselves down this vomit laced road. Church activities are far too geared to fun, fellowship, and having a good time. I'm so glad we instill in our youth a message that my Jesus exists solely for entertaining me myself and I. Fun, fellowship, and having a good time in my mind is a recipe for church death. This simply cannot be the core message. But still churches echo that message far more than any real message Jesus would have to give us. Let's produce some more fat kids craving candy and then wonder in two decades why the American churches are completely extinct. We are by and large simply screwing ourselves in our churches here in America.

Moving through life there is but one thing which we can use to measure a positive existence. That one thing is one's closeness to the Divine. Positive existence is not to be tied to how much happiness one can attain, or how many fun experiences one can hoard for oneself. A meaningful existence is about being a useful servant.

There is nothing wrong with Jesus as the ultimate hard worker. This is in no way works based salvation. This is a little bit of taking seriously Jesus' message about picking up one's cross and following the ultimate servant. Our churches will soon die in America because we are too lazy to get out of bed to hear a serious call that demands complete domination and absolute discipline of oneself and one's will. I myself would do well to force myself to work a little harder for my master each and every day. After all, what does being a useful servant mean if it doesn't mean submission to a painful message?

Only Half

If the world's eyes answered for me
If the world responded on my behalf
If the world answered for me they would say

I give you only half
My witness is only half
My Jesus requires only half

My commitment to serve the Glorious King is half
My commitment is only half serious
I'm responsible for only half of my actions
My Jesus only requires me to be responsible for half of my actions

But You Lord say
I demand all
I will not settle for half
I am the jealous God
I am Jesus requiring all

So help me Lord this Sabbath day
Force me to give you all when I only wish to give you half
Overwhelm me by your mercy and grace so that I cannot help but give you all in gratitude

A mind divided is not devoted to Jesus
A heart divided is half for the world

Teach me discipline so that I do not respond to half of your message
You bid me to fully come and die on your cross
Only giving half of myself is fully lukewarm

Bending My Thoughts of the Other

One my biggest goals in life is mutating my thoughts of God into more accurate representations of God's holiness, and in this case I mean by that, God's otherness.

God is other than the human. At the root, He is light, and our sinfulness is only acquainted and accustomed to dwelling in the darkness. Therefore one of my biggest quests is to spend time thinking of God in ways not often thought about by our society today, (and hopefully) ways that bring us out of our pop culture's theological darkness.

In this way it is a voice from the wilderness so to speak, recovering aspects of God's multifaceted nature long lost. Aspects that are nonexistent today because we are entrenched in a narrow tunnel vision of God continually being perpetuated and reinforced by our American Evangelical culture.

John the Baptist preached a God coming, a God which the world did not know, and his message was repent. When the Messiah came, the world still did not have the mental framework capacity to cope with Isaiah 53's "suffering servant," and therefore John, who prepared the road, still could not fully rupture humanity's hearts. The people cognitively suffered from tunnel vision in what they expected the Messiah to be.

Let us not be surprised when we rediscover God, and the long forgotten but highly valuable aspects of the Godhead. May God break American Evangelical tunnel vision.
-God is the grieving God [Jesus wept, Holy Spirit continually grieves] Prophets wept.
-God's relentless pursuit of humanity throughout the ages of time [don't you pharisees know who I am? [Luke 15, pursuit of what is lost]
-God's drawing humanity back through a series of questions (Adam [Gen 3], and Cain [Gen 4])
-God's intensity
-God never sleeps
-Idea of the Holy

May God interrupt me today, so that I may be a little less like my old self tomorrow.

Media, Connected or Distant

I gave a talk on media last night. Some rough thoughts follow.

Living in a media saturated culture points to at least one thing. We love to be connected. With this known by all experientially, I still ask, are we connected to the most important things? We crave to be connected. Internet, blogs, youtube, my space, facebook, AIM, MSN Messenger, email, pagers, cells, blue-tooth, palm pilots, blackberries, ipods, iphones, and the wonderful world of online gaming…Yes we're connected, but Jesus asks, "are you connected with me?"

In 1 Peter 2:4-6 we get an insight as to how we're supposed to be connected.
1. Be connected with the cornerstone Jesus.
2. Living stones must be cut, chiseled, and put into place by the relation to the cornerstone.
3. To build something stones must be placed upon each other. Stones are called to bear weight on their shoulders. As living stones we're called to responsibility, called to be connected in God's building project and called to carry weight on our shoulders.

God says, I have a building project going on, and you’re part of it. You’re the living stones from which I’m building a temple that will mark the My presence. You will sacrifice yourself to Me on My altar, and I will live in your midst.

Are you connected to God’s building project?

A second idea of stones follow. A completely different idea however.

God gives a little stone (a little message) and throws it into the pond of our lives. We are called to see that stone hit the waters of the pond, and called to see its ripple affects. Note the similarities of how we're supposed to see the ripple affects of a seed planted by Matt 13. Here the ripple affects of a seed are fruit. In order to see the ripple effects of God's message, or in order for a seed to grow we must cut the noise, all the other stones thrown into the pond that prevent us from seeing the ripple effects from that tiny little of God. Distractions, cares, and concerns of the world that prevent us from internalizing God's message can also take the form of over-saturation of media's lesser message, so that we forget God's most important message.

One pebble, one 35 minute message, however great it is, is prone to get lost in the shuffle of all the other competing messages biding for our time in a media-centric world. How will you protect an important small pebble message from the outside noise until you can see its ripple affects on your life?

Finally, a distant God is different then a close God. God far away we can deal with, God close up is a whole other issue. Are we connected or distant with God? A distant God we can keep at arms length and we can filter a messages which we choose to accept. A God close up gets in our face at times, teaches hard messages at times, and will not be content being drowned out by all the other messages in our media-centric world.


My analysis follows:
-Talk was broken up into small manageable chunks where people I think by and large could keep tracking, and maintain concentration.
-Exegeted text, exegeted culture well. Message was also pertinent with where our society is at.
-Might have been heavy handed, or too direct for some, but it was solely an attempt to address the serious dilemma that we all too often fail to see in the mirror. Perhaps some mistake my passion when speaking for something less admirable or noble. I need to make sure I communicate in a way they see the intent of my communication. I'm so mad at myself if a came off to strong, that's a bad tendency of mine.
-Good use of reflection PowerPoint slides, thus allowing time for reflection and thoughts to sink in. Allowed time for people to think about what I was saying.
-I don't see any issues with any of the content of the message. I agonize over this fundamental element and cannot see myself erroring in any content that was presented.
-I might have ultimately failed in communicating the message in a way that truly touches people. This makes me so angry at myself, because I try so hard at this element.
-Good use of imagery and analogy. Living stones, building project and temple imagery 1 Pet 2. Football analogy, catch a football (a message) but only credit "for a catch" if we hang on to God's seed of a message and allow it to take root in our hearts. Pebble in pond analogy, requires personal inward searching for a message to hit home, until we can see a seed message have a ripple affects on our lives.
-Down side of analogies is that sometimes I'm too cryptic, and should just go plain-Jane. If I have 3 weeks to give a talk I have too much time to think in my head, and then unfortunately the only one who understands the message is me. Maybe I failed miserably at this element as well.
-Personally, this has been a lot of thinking, and a real mental and emotional drain. I haven't slept much in preparation. How my one pebble of a message touches the pond of people's lives the world has yet to see. What I do take comfort in is that I think I can say with a clear conscience that I tried my best to listen to God's voice in the direction and tone of the talk. I gave it my best crack, the best way I know how, and ultimately I rest in God's sovereignty to bring a ripple affect in people's lives from a small pebble of a message. So I move on, try to repent and construct better messages next time, and in the meantime preach more pointed messages at myself because God's demands so much more from me, a servant. Maybe God never told me to preach, preaching might be my dream, not God's plan. If that's the case then may my job in the secular workplace be equally as glorifying to God as any pastor's message on any given Sunday.

Too Close For Comfort

You are the King of Kings,
You are the Lord of Lords,
You reign majestically from the heavens above.
The cherubim shout holy, holy, holy.

From a distance we admire our majestic King. From a distance it is easy to call Jesus our treasure. But the distant God whose throne rests sovereignly over all of creation came down. He came down to see where our treasure truly lays. He came down to earth and lent a close ear to the human. Now I say, "You are my King," and the King talks back. He questions back what I say to Him and shatters my existence.

God from a distant doesn't talk back. God close up however is a whole other matter. God's holiness from a distance is a beautiful glorious thing. God's holy presence up close is a terrifying thing. A nice, tidy prayer praising the holy God soon becomes unraveled when a distant God chooses by His abundant grace to break the barriers to speak pointedly to address our sins, our very lives. The once high sounding prayers can now only be sputtered out by Peter's, flee from me Jesus, for I am a sinful man, or Isaiah's woe is me, I am undone.

When the distant God comes close, it's too close for comfort. Are you connected or distant to God today? What are you going to do about it?

Catapult Thyself

There is much spoken out there and equally as much written where pastors can get into little pastoral circles and talk about the problems in ministry until the cows come home. I should probably include myself in that mix, however, I'm not a pastor, and therefore I exempt myself :-) Conversations usually follow the basic train of thought:

-spectator ethic rather than participant ethic
-they are the frozen chosen
-they won't listen and won't follow!
-holy huddles
-the culture today breeds Christians who gather together merely for social and entertainment purposes

Looking towards becoming a better leader myself I try to exegete our culture and our problems, but hopefully I pray not dwell on them all day. The answer is serving God, but what specific message will that Platonic form manifest itself this week?

The wise sage Matt Erickson contributes the following prayer thusly, "They would see that their spirituality is not about them alone, but about finding their place within the body of Christ." Individualism is at an all time high, and Matt correctly brings this to a forefront again in our minds. But individualism, how? Perhaps it's individualism because of the mode of media. Media creating islands of isolation (when I'm listening to my ipod I'm in my own little world) and therefore the natural byproduct is separation and individualism. So, doing "spirituality alone" can be connected to the problem of underdeveloped thinking of how media impacts us in the most subtle and unseeming ways.

If we see some truth in the framework of media creating us into little separate isolated islands, then isolated spiritualism is bound to follow. Spirituality alone may manifest itself in many ways. One way are ministries is heavy in "events" and "socials" but really ultimately at the end of the day weak in fellowship. How does this happen? Simple, the "events" and "socials" are merely filled with shallow "gas pump fellowship." (I coined that baby, so don't you go stealing that on me unless you give me props. That idea is part of one of my chapters in my up and coming book.) This means that conversations only go as far and as deep as a conversation you would have with a stranger outside a gas pump on a crisp November morning. A solution I propose is simply to stop planning and holding "events" and "socials" for the simple fact that they are meeting their intended purposes anyways, which is or at least should be to build confidence in a young outreach team at these are easy places to mingle with new faces or to kick start Christian fellowship at the start of each term. Stop burning the energies and simply stop that hamster wheel altogether. Go to pray until you can figure out how to listen to God's voice again in learning how to build Christian community through other means other than by putting on a sound and light show at a youth rally.

Another way spirituality is done alone is much different. In the example above, there was gathering, which is deceptive. That would give the appearance of connectivity. But as I argue, that's only "gas pump fellowship" connectivity. The other way we see spirituality done alone is by the rogue or nut job. The nut job is out to lunch as far as a holistic understanding of God's message is concerned. His personal piety in some places may be truly outstanding, but his grasping of God's message of the need to "play nice" and the need for doing theology in a community is at around a second grade reader level.

Ultimately, I see exegeting the culture of our media-centric world today useful in peeling back the curtain of reality to tackle larger issues such the tragic isolated island concept and "doing spirituality alone." I must say I am grateful for Matt and the interns at Elmbrook Church as they have been a blessing on my life as I try to wade through the mud of my over-racked brain.

I shall continue to catapult myself to think about these issues. Catapulting myself into exegeting both text and culture. Tuesday I talk on media for a college ministry, hence my media contact points here today. I remain indebted to all of you who think about me and pray for me often. Thank you friend.

Make a Message STICK!!

So I bet you struggle with this topic too. Whether its how to preach it and stick it to your audience or flip it around and have a great message as you're sitting in the audience stick to you. It about making it stick. To make it stick on others, analyze what it takes to stick it to yourself. AKA know yourself!

First off, holy humbleness! How many great messages do I hear, but no stick! Such a spiral of depression. But through the years I start to learn something about making my soul sticky. Brokenness, and seeing yourself in need of the message aids in making messages stick. Much discussion, reflection, and contemplation also aid in making the message stick. Practical prayer to put legs unto a great message starts to make the message stick to the feet in practical action steps. If these don't happen kiss goodbye to that great message. You won't remember it two Sundays from now guaranteed. Discipline thyself to mediate. Now, all of life is about making the Word stick. So pray for me and I'll pray the terrible process of sanctification onto you as well.

Now, there's few things harder in this world than to make "hearing" turn into "listening." At least loosely I think this is what Jesus' hearing/listening was about. To listen is to make the message stick. Anything less and the message bounces off, that is merely hearing. To listen requires the mental activity to make the necessary connections to how the message ideas can be fleshed out in experiential reality. To listen also gives the nod to obedience. As time elapses and you don't find yourself being obedient to the message, you never truly listened to it. It's as simple as that. Don't complicate it. Admit it. Call it what is it. I admit it. I hear, but my ears are uncircumcised and heart closed and clinging to things of old. Better to admit I have a hard time digesting messages and listening then to say I listen but am not moved by the message in practical outworkings. Be brutally honest with yourself and call reality what it is, so the Savior can save you and bring you to a better reality. Know thyself. To know vices is to know thyself.

If you teach, teach to stick. Message content should be as follow. Pray, listen, pray. Exegete text, exegete culture. Then return to text with culture's questions and concerns. Do theology on the carefully exegeted text, and then return to culture. At culture, think about how to smash the message powerfully against the audience's mind and heart. The message must be memorable, if it's not memorable, it's a failure. Creativity in the message delivery process should be prayed about.

Lastly, if you give the message you aren't responsible for the audience's hearing, grasping, and eventual listening to the message. BUT any disciple is responsible for praying for his audience with relentless fervor.

Thought of the Day

"Repentance is the renewal of baptism. Repentance is a contract
with God for a second life. A penitent is a buyer of humility.
Repentance is constant distrust of bodily comfort. Repentance is
self-condemning reflection, and carefree self-care. Repentance is
the daughter of hope and the renunciation of despair. A penitent
is an undisgraced convict. Repentance is reconciliation with the
Lord by the practice of good deeds contrary to the sins.
Repentance is purification of conscience. Repentance is the
voluntary endurance of all afflictions. A penitent is the
inflicter of his own punishments. Repentance is a mighty
persecution of the stomach, and a striking of the soul into
vigorous awareness." St. John Climacus

"Now everybody hopes to be saved by a superficial faith, without the fruits of faith, without the baptism of trial and tribulation, without love or hope, and without truly Christian practice." -Conrad Grebel

Lord help me recall today the seriousness of your call.
Teach me repentance again,
Teach me how to think of others first again,
May this life not be mine, but wholly yours.

Success?

Success. The word is elusive. The word makes me lose sleep to be quite frank. When do you know something is godly and God-driven in my line of work? When is it not the best human logic and thought with human tags of "success" and when is it stamped with God's approval as "successful." It is more than a bit disturbing trying to pin down what should be deemed as successful when doing ministry. Is the American Christian church culture close to reality when it defines success? I hope so, that would make my sleepless nights needless, and the ungoing mental energies expended on this topic totally unnecessary. However, I fear this is not the case. I must resort to a critical eye on these matters. In our depravity we sometimes forget how far our minds have fallen. Popular definitions of success finding acceptance in the majority of people's minds I find having no home in mine. Therefore, I must scratch even the most compelling definitions of success and suspend posing an answer until more thought is developed.

Is success in the Christian life easy to come by, no. Then, why should I think success comes any easier in my ministry job? The simple answer is that I shouldn't. When the majority seeks to believe the best, I know that I am depraved and am anything but good. Sure, sure, people can say this and that about my "extremist" stance, but ultimately I think that all of our lives experientially attest that wickedness still has a comfy home inside each of our hearts. So am I successful at my ministry job and my Christian life? I think the answer can be ultimately found when I answer the question of "How well I pick up my cross daily and follow Christ." When my conscience can answer this question with peace and ease, then maybe I'll be more prone to see things in more rosy colored glasses.

What does a successful College Age Ministry look like? The criterion I choose to measure the success is inevitably bound to tamper and taint the results. But I need to know if I'm moving in the right direction, or if change is needed. What I do know is that I'm too prone to think ministry matters as successful far too often and let myself off the hook far too easily. Now, others may see me as otherwise, but I contest still that depravity has me letting myself off the hook of responsibility far too easily and far too often giving myself a congratulatory pat on the back when quite the contrary is warranted. If depravity still reigns inside humanity, then I'm still prone to pleasant thoughts and self-delusional successful thoughts. And if people are tempted to say that I'm deceived the other way, this being that I don't see success enough, then let my retort be, "then why is American Christianity still "American"!?!" In churches still it's all about "me" "consumerism" "individualism" oh hell, we even do our marketing and prey off my people's materialistic mindsets. It's the "frozen chosen" filling our pews here, and there's no sign of this label getting up and taking action. No, our church in American isn't successful, at best it's backwards, and at worst...bite my tongue, it's Satanic. All this to say, who in their right mind can look at American Christians and then look at the Bible and say we've got it more right than wrong. So I ask again, "Are we succeeding?"

Definitions and criteria of successful ministry meetings can be how was the "flow"/"organization" of the evening. Was it meeting's atmosphere "lively"/"vibrant." I suggest these and all other such criteria which follow these guidelines must be rejected. To turn a close ear to the Lord's heart I cannot let myself think that such words used to describe rock concerts also can be used to describe how successful a Christian large group meeting was.

Arrr, I'm not pirate, but I am frustrated. I am a fallen man without a map to God's heart. Or more exactly put, I have a map called the Bible, but I haven't ears to hear or eyes to read. I'm a sinner, not knowing the Holy Lord.

Book notes from, "A Divine Revelation of Hell" Part 3

Last installment of book notes. Hope you find them challenging and striking the need for continual repentance as I have found them.

“”My child,” said the Lord, “Satan uses many devices to destroy good men and women. He works day and night, trying to get people to serve him. If you fail to choose to serve God, you have chosen to serve the devil.” –p.155

“If you fail to choose to serve God, you have chosen to serve the devil.” –p.155

“Many sinners want to serve God and Satan…” –p.157

“I once knew You, and You were my Savior.” –p.159

“In fact, all those who know My Word and My ways and have heard the gospel but still will not repent are in rebellion against Me. Many are in hell today because of this sin.” –p.161

“I once thought about making You Lord of my life, but I did not want to walk Your straight and narrow way. I wanted the broad way. It was so much easier to serve sin. I did not want to have to be righteous.” –p.161

“Be ready to meet the Lord at all times…” –p.181

“Yes, I thought of many things I could have done to lead others to Christ and to help someone when they needed me. I repented of the things I had done and the things I had left undone.” –p.185

“Jesus said, “O foolish people and slow of heart, awaken to the truth, and love one another with fervent love.” –p.199

“Fear not what man can do to you, but fear him who can cast your soul and body into hell.” –p.203

“Give your whole life to Me, and I will keep you.” –p.210

Book notes from, "A Divine Revelation of Hell" Part 2

More excerpts from the book.

“Men will become lovers of themselves instead of God.” –p.129-130

“”Repent,” He said, “for I am a jealous God. Nothing can be placed before your worship of Me—not sons or daughters or wives or husbands.” –p.130

“They were lovers of their own flesh more than lovers of God.” –p.136

“But they would not listen to Me. They wanted the lust of the flesh more than the love of the living God. Because I am holy, you must be holy.” –p.137

“O earth, My holy people have fallen asleep to the sound of false doctrine. Awake, Awake! I tell you that all unrighteousness is sin. Cleanse yourself from all sin of the flesh and the spirit.” –p.144

“If you will return and repent and if you will honor Me with the fruit of righteousness, I will bless your homes and honor your marriage beds. If you will humble yourselves and call upon Me, I will hear you and bless you.” –p.144

“Do you think that I am blind that I cannot see and deaf that I cannot hear?” –p.145

“If you will repent and be ashamed of your sins, I will have mercy and compassion on you, and I will not remember your sins anymore. Pray that you may be an overcomer.” –p.145

“Keep the marriage bed holy.” –p.146

“I will bless My little ones, those that have kept the faith and have served Me in truth and righteousness.” –p.149

“Sanctify a fast. Call a solemn assembly. Gather the elders and all the inhabitants of the lands into My house, and cry unto Me. Alas, for the day of the Lord comes as a thief in the night—the day is at hand.” –p.150

“I want to be in this army, but I know I must be pure and holy as Jesus is pure and holy. By the blood Jesus shed, cleanse me from all unrighteousness. Help me to keep a repentant heart, free of all hatred and bitterness.” –p.151

“Father, I know that many of Your people are asleep. I fear You will have to break our vessels of clay and humble us if there are to be fruits of righteousness.” –p.151

Book notes from, "A Divine Revelation from Hell" Part 1

Today I share some notes from a book I read several years ago. Baxter claimed to have had a vision where she was taken to hell. She recounts her findings here. Whether the vision is true or not, I don't care. That is not the point. What I care about is how these haunting excerpts assault the human soul. The soul which is entangled in a self-made web of sinful habits. Sinful habits which we know not of, because we know not of the Lord's holiness.

Excerpts from a Divine Revelation from Hell
Mary K. Baxter

“Even though I died on a cross for you, you mocked Me and would not repent of your sins.” –p.26

“The pleasures in life were more important to you than truth.” –p.43

“You went on your own way and evil was your lord. You knew the truth, but you would not repent or true back to Me.” –p.43

“You knew the way of the cross. You knew the way of righteousness. You knew to speak the truth. But Satan filled your heart with lies, and you went into sin. You should have repented with sincerity, not halfway.” –p.43

“You gave heed to seducing spirits and enjoyed your double life. You knew the straight and narrow way.” –p.51

“You played with God, and God knows all things.” –p.52…”You cannot serve Satan and God at the same time.” –p.52

“Come out from among them, and be separate.” –p.52

“If people could only see that the lusts and desires of the world are only for a season!” –p.57

“You were not sorry, nor were you ashamed of what you were doing.” –p.60

“If you are sinning, repent or you will likewise perish.” –p.69

“There is greater punishment for those who once preached the gospel and went back into sin, or for those who would not obey the call of God for their lives.” –p.70

“There was a time when he served Me with all his heart and led many people to salvation.” –p.71

“This was so difficult for me that I was sick many times during the preparing of this record.” –p.101

“We did as we pleased.” –p.115

“”Yes said Jesus, “servants that turned back after I called them. Servants who loved the world more than Me and went back to wallowing in the mire of sin. Servants that would not stand for the truth and for holiness. It is better that one never starts than to turn back after beginning to serve Me.” –p.124

A portion from, "Soren in the Flesh"

Since I've been writing the past couple of days I'd thought I'd keep posting on the book. This is from a pivotal chapter that started to take shape several months ago.

Was my lying since the very beginning scripted? Does the author know that I’m writing all this down? Well, wouldn’t that be convenient for you to know. I will tell you this, the author is a complete moron, and pretty unobservant that he doesn’t proof read and scratch all this out. Undoubtedably, if he did ever catch wind of my witty and quite brilliant additions I would be in deep shit. Him and I don’t really get along too well, can you tell? But if this actual part is meant to be in the script I just can’t tell you. What good is deception when it ceases to give you an adequate cloak? Therefore, I can’t tell you now. That would in part defeat my purposes of deception in the first place. I’m a human, and humans sure do love deception. But then again who’s to say that what is said now is the truth and just not another mirror employed by the author. Maybe I, Soren really do want to tell you, but the author forbids it. Maybe I really do hate deception, but the author forces me to deceive because he loves deception. Maybe I’m bound and gagged, and being held hostage against my will. Damn this author, he won’t allow me the right to speak. I wish the author would quite with all this deceptive nonsense. I guess you’ll never really know what you can trust. How many authors are there? Why all these confusing voices? What does it all mean? But then again even if you knew the truth from deception would you ever get around to doing anything about it? Now, that, that, that’s the point.

A portion from "Nasty Addiction"

This entry is for the hundreds, even perhaps thousands of dedicated people who read my blog. Here is a section from my hope to be published book, "Pointed Nails." The title of the chapter is called, "Nasty Addiction." Below is a portion. Feel free to share your thoughts.

The addict craves an emotional and experiential Christianity. It is a state that only happens when you work yourself into a tizzy, get lathered up in sweat and play make believe in your mind. This Christianity only lasts for a moment. Your drop from the high is as quick as the time it took you to reach the summit of the emotional euphoria. The summit experience tumbles back to earth when the crowd leaves. The art of following Jesus escapes you, because you are hell bent on chasing after the summit emotions and not the Christ. The heart craves the drugs. You know you need a Savior, you just don’t think you need it for your drugs. The heart craves the fantastical and the emotionalism. Like a mosquito, the sick Christian is infatuated with flying into the mesmerizing flickering buzzing light. When he reaches his destination he is zapped in an instant and falls back to earth. There is no life for the sick Christian but the cycle of valley and mountain top experiences. There is no Christ, there is only counterfeits perpetuated by our churches. We have replaced Jesus following with emotional mountain climbing experiences. When the songs stop, our Christianity stops.

A prayer

Walk with us today Lord,
Walk with us because you hold mercy,
Walk with us because you have grace,
Walk with us because you are faithful.

Come after us today Lord,
Come after us despite who we are,
Come after us because of who you are,
Come after us because you are faithful while we are faithless.

Make me into your image today Lord,
Cause me to be moved,
Cause this heart of stone to be broken for the lost,
Replace my dry and uncompassionate eyes with the weeping eyes of the Holy Spirit.

Transform me today Lord,
Cause me not leave your holy presence unchanged,
Drop the scales from my selfish eyes and help me to see others as your Son saw us.

Drop the scales Lord I pray,
Drop the scales from my eyes, my heart, and my mind,
Help me today Lord to see others and not myself.

Knowledge?

When a book carries a title like, "Knowledge of the Holy," I wonder if the title is somewhat bold in what it's attempting to bite off. But no time to get into that here. All I know is that I know nothing about The Holy.

A bit from Otto. Dread becomes worship; out of a confusion of inchoate emotions and bewildered palpitations of feeling grows religion, and out of ‘shudder’ a holy awe.

“A God comprehended is no God.” –Tersteegen

Glossy Books

There has been no less than an absolute explosion of Christian books and Christian book stores over the past two decades. But I pose this question, "Is the plethora of Christian literature now saturating the American Christian Evangelical Culture a good thing?"

I propose to answer this question with a cautious leaning towards "no, it is not a good thing." The reason for this negative response is my disappointment as to the content and focus of modern day Christian literature that has big sales. Simply pick up some pop Christian book written in the past few years and pick up something written by Tozer just a few years prior. The difference is big, and it is noticeable to any eye. Besides someone like a Piper, I'm afraid the caliber of writing that is read by the masses of Christians falls off dramatically fast. The most popular writers are not exegetes or theologians, but they are rather people who smile big, know the right people, and for whatever reason have automatic name recognition and a listening audience at the drop of a pin.

I have no problem with books being written for baby Christians, that are easy from time to time on the meaty substance. My beef is simply that with a majority of the stuff on our bookstores shelves now being fluff literature, we have either intentionally or unintentionally cultivated an American Evangelical Christian culture that now has no desire or ability to digest anything of substance. This is a reason for alarm and concern. Weak minds equal weak Christians.

With that I tip my hat today to Rudolph Otto. I do not agree with everything he says, but at least he says something. He and others have been my continued inspiration for my own work, which I continue to write entitled, "Pointed Nails." Although Christians will always disagree on issues, I always give credit to those who have enough balls to write something pointed and pressing. Otto coined a special term for the holy. He called it “awful mystery”. Otto spoke of the awfulness because of the fear the holy provokes in us. The holy fills us with a kind of dread. This concept stems from Otto's work, “The Idea of the Holy.”

Our God is not a god of fluff or gloss. Our God will give your conscience nightmares if you are mature enough to stomach it. May His Holy Name be forever revered.

Promotional Ideas

Here are some ideas that can work on your campus to advertise, promote, and get the word out about a Christian ministry.

o flyers/small promotion slips in student mailboxes
o mass campus email through the student life email system if orgs list their upcoming events along with other random campus announcements
o campus online calendar
o School calendar organizer/planner sold at bookstore, see if a few key events can be put in there
o advertisement on the local campus T.V. station
o School newspaper ads
o posters and banners of various sizes. Around campus in academic buildings, on student dorm doors who are members of the collegiate ministries, in dorms (given to RA’s to hang up on their floors), large banner at booths outside café or high traffic areas in academic buildings
o table tents
o side walk chalk
o chalk board classrooms (ask for permission 1st)
o Quark Board- generate discussion on campus for various topics

I think it goes without saying that students need to make sure methods of advertising are permissible on their particular campuses.

Outreach Ideas

Here is a short brainstorm of outreach ideas that can be incorporated into many campus settings.

o Eating with new faces once a week
o Introduce yourself to everyone on the floor
o Invite new faces to social events
o Invite your floor people to dinner at the café when you go
o Make dinner for the people on your floor
o Have board game night on floor lounge on weekends and go door to door on the floor inviting people
o Door to door taking out people’s trash (introducing yourself and small chit chat with people when appropriate)
o conduct spiritual interest surveys
o Sit down by new people during classes (Maybe on the 3rd day sitting by the new person strike up a conversation about student groups or orgs. I go to the Ave which is a College Ministry, and you’re more than welcome to come along and I can introduce you to some people there.)

Quiet Truth about College Students

Did you know?

Only 35% of Americans have a college degree.
50% of people who enter college drop out.
50% of students in college have reported being so depressed at one point that they described their depression as inhibiting their ability to function.

Those are some stats. The last stat is scary. In an age where college is something "everyone" does, and "everyone" has a college degree, the truth is something far different. College is presented in the media, (with their Spring Break parties) and advertised by students themselves as fun, beer, and partying, the truth paints a different picture where students are lost, alone, depressed, and have a difficult time adjusting to the emotional, academic, and social demands of the college environment. The truth here is scary for our society, and the situation that we ourselves as Americans have created. Outreach on campuses doesn't rest on finding creative ways in telling people about Jesus, there is something also about having a genuine concern to address the loneliness, depression, and multiple other stresses that impact college students daily lives, which the students themselves keep quiet about.

WHAT CAN CHRISTIANS DO TO COME ALONGSIDE THEIR FELLOW CLASSMATES, ENCOURAGE, AND SUPPORT THEM IN THE STRUGGLES THEY FACE?

I think you all are smart enough to figure out practically how Christians can be a light on their campuses. The question isn't about how do it, although Christians displace the real reason that prevents them from reaching out and prop up this puppet question in its place. The real issue is always about will you take time to do it, and have you cultivated a heart full of love to do it. This my friend, will forever be the issue.

Outreach: Surveys are Conversation Starters

Through the many years of outreach and evangelism, I have used countless methods. Here is just one more of those strategies to get to know people, their interests, their views. I've always been a big proponent of reading your audience well, and approach each encounter as unique, because hey, each person is an unique individual. Good witnessing is good listening! This method focuses on conducting spiritual interest surveys and using them as springboards to launch into potential conversations with the students that you see are willing and wanting to continue on the conversation.

Try some of the best questions yourself, pick and choose, and see where God takes your conversations with those He has prepared to put into your path!!

BEGINNING OF THE YEAR SURVEY:

Your major?

Where do you live?

What are you looking most forward to about this school year?

If you could make one thing better about your school what would it be?

Do you play any sports?

Did you go to church growing up?

Have you gone to church while in college? (If yes for going to church growing up, and no for going to church while in college, ask why have you stopped attending church)

Do you plan on going to church this year?

Are you uncomfortable if the name of Jesus is brought into a conversation? (Why?) How about others, do you think they are uncomfortable if the name of Jesus is brought in a conversation?

How open do you think your fellow college students are in talking about God? Why do you think that is? Do you wish it was easier to talk about God with others?

If you wanted to start a spiritual conversation with a person, how would you go about doing it?

What is your understanding of who Jesus was?

Have you ever read the Bible?

Do you know what the Bible teaches about who Jesus was? If yes, what does the Bible teach about him?

Would you be interested in checking out a Christian group on campus?

Would you be interested in checking out a Christian discussion group?

Are you interested in learning more about Jesus?



GENERIC SURVEY QUESTIONS:

How open do you think people are nowadays to talking about God? And why do you think that is?

Do you think most people feel distant or close to God? How about you, do you feel distant or close to God? (Do you desire to grow closer to God? If yes, what are the steps you are taking to do this?)

If you were to ask God one question what would it be?

If you wanted to start a spiritual conversation with someone, how would you go about doing it?

Have you ever read or heard a lecture about Jesus in any of your classes? If yes, what are your impressions of him, and what were some other classmates perception of Jesus?

What is your understanding of who Jesus was?

Do you think that there is life after death? And why do you believe your position, what reasons is it based upon, what worldview do you work off of, and why?


VALENTINE'S DAY QUESTIONNAIRE

What is the best/greatest way to show someone that you love them?

Do you feel loved?

What makes you love someone?

What the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?

Do you feel that most married couples today genuinely love each other?

What is the kind of love that is most displayed by our culture?

Do you think our society’s concept of love has become misconstrued?

Who or what shapes your concept of love? I.e. society, parents, religious background

How have you shown someone love today?

Do you think that Jesus’ death on the cross was an expression of God’s love towards mankind?

If someone would come up to you and say that Jesus loves you, how would you respond?

Lost our Minds

One of the major reasons for choosing to write a book is because I believe I have lost my mind. Writing and thinking is a way for me to find my mind, and find out what it means to be human again. Now, why should a guy who has lost a mind write a book and have the audacity to tell people that it's worth reading? My only retort is that there need be no rationale. You should read it just as the second grader would say, 'just cause.' For you only kid yourself if you think you need a reason to do something. We do hundreds of things each day, the vast majority of these things rarely tapping into reason. Rather it's zombie like habits, seldom calling upon the mind, but often calling upon emotions. We operate out of emotion, not reason. We do things based on how we feel. We eat, sleep, and decide what to do on a day to day basis based on our feelings and what tickles our fancies. We have lost our minds long ago.

As a Christian, my God reigns in heaven, but emotions rule on earth. Emotions have superseded the place of the mind, and our churches now prominently appeal to emotions, because to speak to the mind in our culture would be to speak to an old abandoned warehouse.

For me to write is to think, and to call my long lost mind back from oblivion. I have been struck by many books in my day. Or more properly, I have been struck by books I have read long ago. The books I have read more recently only anger me because of the lack of substance and the failure to get to the heart of the matter. That is why the book I'm writing won't mince words, but calls depravity depravity and hopefully we'll come to find who we truly are. We are people full of unruly passions and emotions with very weak minds.

I'll leave you think a sweet little quote from Kierkegaard's 'Purity of Heart.' It's not a quote from Kierkegaard's mouth, rather it's his translator commenting on the text.
“Allow this center in a man to remain dulled by the crowd; allow it to continue dissipated by busyness; permit it to go on evading its function by a round of distractions, or to lull itself by a carefully chosen rotation of pleasures; abandon it to its attempt to drug, to narcotize suffering and remorse which might reveal to it its true condition; let it wither away the sense of its own validity by false theories of man’s nature, of his place in the social pattern, of his way of salvation;…” -translator’s intro

Good ol' Tozer

It's hard coming from church circles such as mine not to be a fan of A.W. Tozer. In Morley's book, "The Man in the Mirror" he pulls out this good old quote.

“A whole new generation of Christians has come up believing that it is possible to “accept” Christ without forsaking the world.” -A.W. Tozer

Serving leaves a lasting impression

As I reflect upon the important things in life one issue always returns to mind. It is the issue of serving. Now some like to dress up the serving idea and call it things like having a "servant's heart" or some fancy little Christian phrase like that. The truth about serving however doesn't need to have a cute phrase to describe it or anything of the sort. The truth and issue behind serving is simple, it is raw, and at it's core it is powerful.

I often believe Christians are guilty of making simple issues complicated. Long before I had my MA in Biblical Exegesis I knew that the additional Bible knowledge that I learned there could never dwarf or overthrow the content and message that could always be mined in a simple English version of the text. You see, the message that Jesus calls us to live isn't difficult to decipher or hard to understand, it is simply hard to live. It goes against a human sinful will, and there requires an endless struggle within one's own self. It's not that the message is unable to be understood, it's that it's far too understandable and costly to live out. The human hides and lies, and makes excuses for choosing not to follow the simple message.

There is one example of simple understanding of the Bible's call to serve that will always leave an impression on me. It comes from a brilliant mind that was wise enough to mediate on the simple message that every 1st grader learns. It's simply to put others before yourself. But that little message often times refuses to hit home. It's that simple message that will make seemingly wise and important people look absolutely stupid at the end of time when everyone's work is exposed. You see why I will ultimately remember this brilliant mind, who was also one of my most influential college teachers does not pertain to what he taught but how he lived.

The day I remember clearly is when this college professor took a group of students to a mentally challenged facility. It was freshmen orientation week for all the incoming students, and that particular afternoon was community service and getting to know the area around Green Bay a bit better. I get to the location and some of the students were acting really immature about the situation and poking fun at the whole ordeal. Well, my professor gets off the bus, gathers instructions from the person in charge, and says he'll do whatever service needs to be done. He goes to the flower bed to plant and pull weeds. As he rolled up his sleeves that day and got down in the dirt, I realized that he and any Christian that knows what it means to be a servant has spent many years learning the lesson of what it means to put others first. The message of servanthood doesn't baffle the mind, but it does pierce the heart.

Being used by God at the dinner table

In Luke 15 Jesus is at a table eating with the “unacceptable” people. Will you join Jesus this year and eat with the students outside the religious circles? Maybe you often eat with Christian friends. This year will you take one meal a week or every other week, and eat at a table in your school cafeteria with an unfamiliar face? Search for an unfamiliar face, and ask if you can sit with them and share a meal with them. If good conversation develops, set a time convenient for the both of you and eat together again. See where God wants to take it. By getting to know more of the student population you’re saying ‘yes’ to the possibility of being used by God in significant ways. As you go about building relationships with fresh faces God may wish to use you, bless you, give you joy, and give you an opportunity to tell another student about our great God. Is our God great enough to tell other students about Him?

If it is daunting to approach an individual or group of people by yourself, bring another Christian friend along. This way you can embark on this journey of sitting at a table of fresh faces together. Who knows, maybe God wants to give you both an opportunity to partake in His kingdom work. How wonderful would that be!?!

Pray for opportunities, and be bold and step out when they present themselves.

Outreach: Jesus destroys all kinds of barriers

Any person can brainstorm a grocery list’s worth of reasons why he or she should not do outreach. Among those reasons a few seem to be on the top of everybody’s list. They are as follows:

1. I wouldn’t know what to say. Meaning, I don’t know how to start the conversation. Any conversation I had with a person would be awkward and uncomfortable for the both of us. If someone is truly interested in hearing more about Christianity I really don’t know how to communicate the gospel message in a simple and clear way.

2. I don’t like going up to strangers and hounding them about their religious beliefs. I won’t want anyone coming up to me and telling me what to believe, and therefore I think it is either a bad witness or not effective for me to be going up to people and telling them what to believe.

3. Seriously dude, I don’t have the time! I’m serious, look at my schedule and tell me where I’m supposed to find the time to do outreach. I’m involved in these other teams of the ministry already, attend the large group meeting every week, and also lead a Bible study every week. I’ve been really wanting to start up accountability and one-on-one discipleship as well and my schedule is bursting at the seams without outreach responsibilities being thrown on my plate as well. And oh, did you forget that I’m a full time student with 18 credits?!?

Now no one, absolutely no one can say these reasons are not barriers to outreach. Despite this, what I do want to make clear is that no barrier through Christ’s power and love can stand. Barriers 1. and 2. can in fact be broken quite easily I think. It just takes our eyes to be focused on the intense love of God for humanity, our human sinful predicament, and our deep need to hear a saving message. The reason why these barriers often times seem to be set in concrete is because we take our eyes off of Christ, off of our love and need of our neighbor, and instead have eyes focused upon our self, our own comfortability, and caring too much about what others might think of us. I must say here that it is a horrible and shameful thing to be prevented to from sharing the gospel with another individual because we ourselves are too focused upon what others may think and say about us behind our backs. Let us not be ashamed of the glorious gospel message, spoken from humble lips which comes from a heart fixed upon the Lord’s love for humanity.

Barrier 1. can often times be swept away by education of the gospel, and an individual’s own rehearsal and practice of the gospel message. This will help make talking about it feel more comfortable, and words will start to come more easily, as you yourself pin down in your mind what is appropriate and essential to share about the Father’s love coming down to man in the form of flesh and blood.

The largest barriers left are starting conversations with people, coming across as hounding others about their worldview, and barrier 3., the dreaded, “I don’t have enough time barrier.” So what can bring these walls tumbling to the ground?

Let’s look at Luke 15:1-2, and the accusation that the Pharisees and the teachers of the law held against Jesus. The murmuring happening here wasn’t an isolated event. Jesus wasn’t eating with these “unacceptable” people on “outreach event day” and then eating the religious crowd the rest of his days. No, this was ordinary for Jesus, this was part of his everyday life. Any sliver or slice we take from Jesus’ ministry years never shows a dichotomy “Outreach Jesus” and “Ordinary Jesus.” Thinking of Jesus in terms like this is quite silly. In fact, I laugh as I type these words. But truly, somewhere our thoughts have derailed if we think there is an “on/off” switch for when we want to enter outreach ministry mode. This kind of thinking was surely foreign to Jesus.

You see there is something very telling about the snapshot of Jesus given in Luke 15:1-2. Imagine the “sinners” eating with Jesus. They surely didn’t have the impression of Jesus as an enemy whom they hated, with him hounding them all the time about their life and worldview. We can intuit this because all evidence points that “sinners” welcomed Jesus to their dinner table and invited him to eat with them. Clearly, somehow then Jesus could destroy barrier 2. Jesus didn’t water down his difficult heart piercing message, but somehow the “sinners” were still listening and obviously didn’t feel hounded and irritated to want to toss Jesus from their dinner table. Jesus spoke truth and still he was able to cultivate an in-road to build relationships with sinners, and legitimately gain their ear to have them listen to him. Amazing, this Jesus character was, amazing!

Back to the idea of “Outreach Jesus” versus “Ordinary Jesus.” Since Jesus was Jesus and not split, he didn’t have to spend time appealing to different personalities. You see taking time to appeal to different personalities would double the time Jesus would have to spend in his ministry. Jesus would have to be “Outreach Jesus” half of the time and “Ordinary Jesus” the other half of the time if he operated in two different mindsets. What I am supposed to do is to weave “Outreach Nick” into the fabric of “Nick.” At the end of the day there is just Nick, as “Outreach Nick” becomes habitual and intertwined into my innermost part of my being. The reason why barrier 3. exists is because I do a poor job of understanding the core of outreach and view outreach of needing to tap into an additional time in my already crazy busy schedule for me to become “Outreach Nick.” No one has that much free time in his or her schedule to be splitting time between two different personas within him or herself. If splitting time between personalities was something that Christ calls us to, than no one would ever have time to do any outreach, including Jesus himself!

The reason barrier 3. can be broken is because “Outreach Jesus” is really “Jesus,” not someone different. Luke 15 Jesus is John 1 Jesus. It can be argued that Jesus was a busy busy man. In fact, doesn’t Jesus have a better argument than any of us that he had absolutely no time left in his daily schedule to do outreach! And yet, he was outreach machine. How is this possible again? Jesus didn’t have to create more time in his schedule for “Outreach Jesus” to perform and shine; it was already imbedded in “Normal Jesus.” Outreach wasn’t something additional, something above and beyond, something difficult to seek out, or something necessary to be penciled into an already crammed schedule. Outreach was incorporated seamlessly into the ebb and flow of everyday life. Outreach was part of that one life. Jesus slept. He didn’t have to lead a double life and not sleep in order to fulfill the itchings and cravings of “Outreach Jesus.” Outreach wasn’t something detached, or some free floating piece orbiting somewhere in outer space.

In summary, barrier 3. was no barrier at all for Jesus as it took no additional time at all for Jesus to fit outreach into his schedule! There was only Jesus, “Outreach Jesus” never had to lobby for time, it was already built into the singular mind of Christ. So for us to say, “I don’t have time to outreach” signifies we have not fully grasped the concept of weaving the outreach mentality into our already existing persona. We must allow our mindsets to be transformed to have a new orientation and outlook upon how we daily relate with others.

Practically what does this mean?

1. I eat. I eat food, usually breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and so do most other humans. So if I’m going to spend time eating anyways, it takes absolutely zero additional time for me to spend that meal time eating with non-Christians. This is the best of both worlds! I get to eat, (which I love), I get to meet, form relationships, and do outreach (and be like Jesus who also met, formed relationships and did outreach in Lk 15). I get to be more like Jesus! Yippee!

2. I hang out, socialize, and play games like apples to apples, guesstures, etc, on Friday and Saturday nights. Once again, if I’m going to spend time, hang out and socialize, it takes zero additional time for me to hang out and invite others to join in my reindeer games (apples to apples, or whatever college kids play nowadays) with my existing group of friends. Why hang in your apartment with your same group of Christian friends another night when you can go into the dorms inviting various new faces, and get some rowdy games a brewing in the dorm lounge. This is the best of both worlds, because once again, you meet new people, form new relationships, and somewhere down the road you have the potential once again to tell other people about Jesus’ life. And again the additional time this outreach lifestyle takes on your schedule is zero hours a week.

3. I go to class. Hey, I don’t think I ever died talking to those classmates that always sit next to me. You know the ones I’m talking about, the ones that I’m embarrassed to admit, but still don’t know their names. Not all people bite. Be polite, start some chit chat, and who knows maybe you have common interests and will catch a bite to eat sometime. Again zero additional time, because hey, you’re stuck in class for that class period anyways.

My apologies for my being wordy, it takes too long to write some of these blog entries, so I’m leaving it as is, and hope everyone who reads it catches the heart of what I write. Be blessed and serve one another!

Outreach: Large Event vs Consistency and Small

This is my final post of the three part series. The focus here is on the method of doing outreach. How does one reach out on a college campus that is supersaturated with student orgs all lobbying for students' attention? How does one ensure that a Christian ministry isn't perceived and lumped into all the other orgs on campus? How can our methods of advertising for our events look different than the already thousands of posters that litter our campuses? In sum, how are we going to keep our Christian ministries from being drowned out and fade into the black hole of background noise?

The first thing we can do to ensure our student orgs look different from others is by the way we view the college students. While other student orgs may be prone to look at college students in mass numbers, Christians are to see students as people, not as numbers. Pushing for large turn outs, and seeing a high volume of students at meetings becomes a nauseating measure stick after a while, and falls far short in determining a healthy group. Rather, an important measuring stick to a healthy Christian student org is that no matter what the size of the group, they should leave an impression upon the people they interact with because they are known by their love.

An easy example to put meat on the bones of a large number versus love concept follows. Suppose there are 200 people in the group. However, you notice that 12 new people are scattered throughout the audience, look uneasy, sit alone, or are sitting by another student who feels easy uncomfortable, while everybody else is talking to their longtime friends. Now suppose that another group of Christians have 100 students coming to their meetings. They however, have a mindset right from the start of every night to spot and identify any new people that might come. Right away several of the students spot 8 new people scattered across the crowd. They make it a point to sit by the new people, and start conversations with them to make them feel welcomed. Their business for the night isn't to hang out with their longtime friends who frequent the meetings. No, their business is to help welcome new students to a Christian community where Christ's love isn't questioned, but rather is evident. Which Christian org is more glorifying to God? Which Christian org better carries out the Lord's work?

Now, with emphasis on love over numbers and a "welcoming spirit," what can be done in our practical outreach methods? What are some pros and cons of large versus small outreach events, and how is each perceived on a bustling campus community?

LARGE OUTREACH
CONS
-The campus community may see the outreach as just another student org trying to recruit new members. Campus population becomes bombarded with yet another Christian giving them a pamphlet or telling them to come to some "fun, cool" event. (But they think to themselves, "it's just another Christian meeting/social, and I'm not like them.")
-The campus community misunderstands the message of the gospel because the outreach has a broad scope and so many students are trying to be reached, that no one individual is effectively reached.
-Every Christian in the org marks the date on their calendar of the outreach "event." These few days of the year is when they focus on others. Other than that, it can breed a mentality of inward focus on their on groups and other like themselves.
PROS
-A large number of students are addressed.
-A place for many personality types to get involved with various promotional opportunities to advertise for Christian event, and hand slips out to students asking them to come to the event. Allows many to serve, talk, and meet new faces who might have a difficult time reaching out otherwise.

SMALL OUTREACH
CONS
-A limited number of the student population is addressed.
-Christians not as comfortable starting up conversations with strangers may struggle in building new relationships. This could be a discouragement to them ever trying to reach out.
PROS
-The individual student is the focus, and the individual student is more likely to understand the message of Jesus, feel cared for, and feel loved.
-It's not an "event" it's a lifestyle. Consistency is key as it becomes a habit and a way of life for you.
-More relationship can be built over time than 10 seconds explaining a flyer to a student as he/she passes by on his/her way to class.
-Questions can be raised and "real" issues can be discussed when a relationship has been established. You're not perceived then as just "another Christian" in a non-believer's mind. They will be more prone to listen to you in this venue. Trust can be established in this setting.

All things considered, I must admit I tip scales quite favorably to a small outreach lifestyle philosophy rather than large outreach events. What has been said here only skims the surface on what can be said both positive and negative on both sides.

Most importantly, I pray that my heart would be carved deeper by the sacrifices that Jesus made on my behalf, and in turn live to serve others. When words are difficult to find, express the gospel through sacrificial action and being other-centered. Outreach at its core is not comprised of multiple events, interest cards, and follow up. Outreach is one life sharing a life giving and life altering message with another life. Outreach is draining, outreach is time consuming, but outreach is worth it!

Be blessed my friends and serve one another! We are messengers of the good news!

Outlasting your Outreach

This is the 2nd piece of the 3 part series. The focus here is to address outreach vision. The title is fitting because it connotes that the individual who did the outreach continues thinking in the same vein afterwards. In sum, the heart still is burdened for the lost long after the specific outreach event is long gone.

The reason why outreach fails I am thoroughly convinced has little to do with how the specific outreach was organized. Now, don't get me wrong. If you go whipping pamphlets in rage at people's heads, and don't bother listening first and only desire for you yourself to be heard, then your results will most likely be failure. But for most other situations, 9 times out of 10 the reason for failure isn't the particular method employed. It's rather what Jesus always said, the issue is the heart.

Now when I say that the issue is the heart, I'm not talking about the heart of the person who is being witnessed to, I'm rather talking about the heart of the one who is witnessing. The Christians' job isn't to change the other's heart, rather their job is to make sure their own heart is faithful to God and a true witness carrying the pure light of God. God's job is to change other people's heart. We simply are to do godly witnessing and leave the results up to God. Our concern is our own heart.

So how is your own heart? Where is the drive to witness? Why do Christians witness, and why should Christians witness? Why did Jesus witness? Jesus came to earth, because the Father wanted to enter into relationship with humanity, and wished to redeem man and bring him out of darkness. God loved man, and so the Father sent His sent. Jesus loved us, and commanded us to tell others about His love. Jesus spoke about how the Holy Spirit would empower us so that we could be godly witnesses.

The reason why God came down to man, is wrapped up in how God viewed man. We were sheep without a shepherd. It is a tender love to love clueless sheep. Lost sheep that didn't know which end was up. And still despite our backwardness and our sin, the Father came to us. Lost sheep don't know their way home. Therefore God came to us.

He came because of our need. We couldn't do it without Him. The worst thing about us sheep, is that we were so lost we didn't even recognize our sickness. We wallowed in sin for so long, we didn't remember that there was a God searching and seeking us.

Jesus' passionate pursuit of us doesn't diminish in strength. He pursued us because He loved us. So will we love others with the same intense love? Will we see lost sheep as Jesus saw them, and seek to be a part in bringing them home, or just judge them with venom? Our duty is simply to love fellow man, and tell them about our Father's great love story.

How much love does your heart have for lost sheep? Do you even seek to associate with them? Do you want to reach out when your organization has an outreach event, and forget about God's command at all other times? If we want to be about Jesus' heart, we must be about the lost. After all, the lost were the reason Jesus came!

Mark 2:16-17 16 When the scribes of the Pharisees saw that He was eating with the sinners and tax collectors, they said to His disciples, "Why is He eating and drinking with tax collectors and sinners?" 17 And hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

Ministry Grows When I Grow

My title may seem too simple, "Ministry Grows When I Grow," but nonetheless I find strong truth in its simplistic nature. Are growth models, endless brainstorming, reediting vision statements, and endless books on how to make ministry successful really what I need taking up the space in my brain? Why read a book on 200 ways to do outreach, at the expense of the Bible sitting on the shelf? No book or creative event can ever compensate for a heart that is cold and lacking the zeal of God for humanity lost. Put the rubbish alternatives away and continue reading this blog.

This entry is the first of three dealing with, "What are a few key concepts that I need to convey to the college students'." The second entry will focus upon an "Outreach Vision That Lasts," and the third will address what are in my mind two large competing theories of going about outreach, large versus small. The emphasis here is on my specific area of ministry for UW-Milwaukee, University of Marquette, MSOE, and MIAD, where I concentrate on outreach.

I've been in a foul mood as of late. I have always been bothered before by another start of a ministry school year with its accompanying high hopes, aspirations, and dreams, and this year holds true to form, I'm uneasy once again. I'm beside myself. Even more than that, I'm flat out agitated and irritated as I stand at the cusp my a new year.

Look at the situation. We just had a retreat where the student servantship team planned out the semester. That is 20 + students and 5 staff, 4 interns and the pastor all pooling resources and knowledge together to try to make this year happen. What is wonderful to see is the great passion and fire from these student leaders. It is great to see, it truly is. What bothers me, is that somehow we as overseers are to make sure we continue to help kindle and nature the fire already existing within these students. In this situation, I personally see my job is to help continue to make the dreams of the students come true. Many ideas, hopes, and various strategies get thrown out on the table on planning weekends such as these. I get upset with myself, because it would be a lack of leadership on my own behalf to waste the wonderful zeal of these students and to see them frustrated at the end of the school year with very little of their initial high hopes worked out and accomplished. So what message can I bring to these student leaders?

It is always a challenge is to help put practical flesh on passionate zeal, but where does the crux of this dilemma rest? What is the black hole that zaps energy and ends so many ministry years in utter disappoint? The worst thing to see is young passionate leaders become frustrated, fizzle, and burn out as the school year full of promises comes crashing down to the reality of another year of mediocrity.

Now, I think that the word, 'mediocrity,' will serve well to address the solution to how I see the current predicament. The reason I fail is because of misplaced and misguided attention. The reason for my agitation has nothing to do with the ministry or with others' spiritual lives. No, that is wrong, dead wrong. The issue and solution does not rest on others shoulders. The issue is internal. The problem is within one's own darkened soul. So, the reason for mediocrity can never be pointed to others, no matter how much I would like to deceive myself that others are the problem.

Mediocrity, is due to the unwarranted concentration on changing others, rather than intense inward focus on changing oneself. We are simply vessels which God chooses to use in His ministry. The truth is that if I spent half as much time trying to change others as I spent trying to change myself, I would be more developed and would be able to be used by God in more powerful ways.

So, a successful year, a year that has slain the beast of mediocrity comes down to getting after one's own mediocrity which we far too often allow to creep into our lives. Do we really expect God to deliver an amazing year, if our own lives continue sinking into the quicksand of mediocrity? I know the answer to that, and so do you. So, I commit myself to grow more, so that I may be able to be used more by God. In sum, the ministry grows, when we each take personal responsibility to grow. So, let us desire this year to get after ourselves in the practice of the spiritual disciplines and take a serious spiritual journey with God. If we do so it will be evident that we are not a mediocre people, who as a resultant do not produce a mediocre ministry.

I do not want my witness to the world be that I worship a mediocre God, of mediocre power, who has mediocre love, and who only slightly desires to let the world know that He loves them. I will not be satisfied with mediocrity in my soul. So let me repent.

Start of a new ministry year in prayer

I now work for Elmbrook Church in Brookfield Wisconsin in the college ministry.

So, how do I make this year more effective than my other years of ministry?

If there is one thing I want to do well this year, let it be to pray well. Because if I pray well, everything else can't be too far behind.

I know it is the case for me, and I suspect we all struggle at various times with the prayer issue as well. It's often a lot of talk about prayer, but then unfortunately little in the end. It all comes down to if we believe God hears, responds, and acts. I think so. I think the biblical characters believed so.

Does prayer mean anything? Does it impact anything? If God is going to be in this year of ministry, and anything worthwhile results from this year in ministry we all know that it is God who makes it happen. Reliance in God is everything, His hand in the ministry is everything. If God is not here, and our hearts aren't turned to Him, let's go home and not waste everybody's time.

But if God taught his people in Scripture that prayer is important, then let it be important for us as well. Our responsibility isn't to get bogged down in how the mystery of prayer works, it is simply to pray, and have faith that God's ear is still bent towards earth just as it was centuries ago. We can have faith that God acts as He is forever wise and always knows best. God loves to touch the human soul. God will still act, because God remains good. God loves college students too much, that if the people in ministry like myself allow a place for God in our lives, God will show up in the ministry.

In sum, I know that if I want to make something of this year, then nothing can ever replace a close heart to God through prayer.

Let us not attempt to put a straitjacket on God, and let us always continue to pray and live lives pleasing to our Lord.

Personal Discontentment

I believe personal discontentment when its winds are harnessed appropriately is one of the largest driving forces to positive change. As humans we have the uncanny tendency not to change until we are disgusted with who we see in the mirror. Until we see ugliness we are not inclined to change.

"If everyone was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes." -Mark Twain

My lesson to learn today is not to be happy drifting through life, but strive to be faithful and devote with the gifts and talents God has given me.

Centuries Ago Speak Today Part 6

This is my last installment of my notes from the Imitation of Christ. I hope you benefited, grown closer to God, and have a renewed zeal for grappling with your sinful nature. May God's grace abound in you.

But blessed is that man who for Your sake, Lord, gives up all earthly things, and, forcibly overcoming his natural inclinations, which an ardent will crucifies fleshly desires, in order that with serene conscience my may offer pure prayer to You.

In these and many such ways the Lord's faithful servant is tested as to how far he can deny himself.

You know what is good for my spiritual progress, and how much suffering I need to wipe away the rust of sin from my soul.

For, as St. Francis said, a person is only worth as much as he is in Your eyes, no more, no less.

My child, you cannot always burn with zeal for virtue, nor remain constantly in a higher stage of spiritual contemplation; because of original sin you must sometimes descend to the less, and to bear with sorrow the burdens of this corruptible life, even if it is against your will. So long as you wear a mortal body, you will suffer weariness and heaviness of heart. While you are still in the flesh, you will often bemoan the burden of the flesh, which hinders you from continual spiritual exercises and divine contemplation.

Seek a secluded place; love to dwell alone with yourself. Avoid talking with others as much as possible; instead pour forth devout prayer to God that you may preserve a humble mind and a clean conscience.

O what great confidence he shall have at death, who is not attached to anything in this world! But a man sick in soul is not able to keep his heart free of worldly entanglements, nor does the natural man know the liberty of the spiritual man. Yet, when a man truly wishes to be spiritual, he must renounce friends as well as strangers, and must beware of himself most of all. If you completely conquer self, you will more easily master everything else. To triumph over self is the perfect victory. For he who holds himself in such subjection that his passions obey reason and his reason obeys Me in all matters, is truly his own master, and lord of the world.

He who desires to walk with Me in true freedom must mortify his irregular and undisciplined desires, and must not hold on, with selfish love or desire to anything created.

Nature is unwilling to be mortified, checked, overcome, obedient, or willingly subject. Grace, on the contrary, strives for self-mortification.

The more, therefore, that nature is controlled and overcome, the richer is the grace given, while man is daily renewed by fresh visitations after the likeness of God.

I know the way of perfection and clearly know what I should do, but being weighed down by my own corruption I do not rise to the more perfect.

My child, the more you leave yourself the more you will be able to enter into Me. And as the absence of craving for material things brings peace, so the forsaking of self interiorly unites you to God. I want to learn perfect renunciation to My will, without contradiction or complaint.

When have I ever fared well without You?

But who am I, Lord, that I should presume to approach You? Behold, heaven cannot contain You, and yet You say to me: "Come!"

(On preparing himself to partake in holy communion)
How, then, can I prepare myself in one short hour to receive with reverence the Maker of the world?

Centuries Ago Speak Today Part 5

More from the Imitation of Christ.

Of Complete Resignation of Self in Order to Gain Inner Freedom

My child, give up self and you will find Me.

I make no exception, but wish to find you stripped of everything. How else can you be all Mine, unless you be stripped of all self-will? The sooner you do this the better it will be for you; and the more completely and genuinely done, the more you will please Me, and the more you will profit. Some give up self, but with certain reservations; for they do not trust God completely, so they try to safeguard their future.

Would that I did not concern myself with the future, but rather unquestioningly gave myself over to pleasing You!

Self-denial is the true advance of man.

Unless I am assisted by You I grow faint and lukewarm.

You ought to be so dead to human affections as to wish as much as possible to be without the fellowship of men.

If you knew how to annihilate yourself completely and to empty yourself of all love of creatures, then I would flood you with My graces.

Learn to master yourself in all things for the sake of Your Creator, and then you will have knowledge of divine things.

Never study in order top appear more wise and learned; it is more profitable for you to root out your vices than to answer difficult questions.

But woe to those who inquire of men about many curious things, and care very little about the way they serve Me.

He profited more by renouncing everything than by studying subtleties.

Centuries Ago Speak Today Part 4

More from the Imitation of Christ.

I often lament and grieve over my unhappiness; for many evils befall me in this valley of miseries, often disturbing me, making me sad, often hindering and distracting me, alluring and entangling me so that I neither have free access to You nor can enjoy the sweet embraces which You have ever reading for blessed souls. Let my sighs and the desolation of earth move You, Lord.

Restrain my wandering thoughts and suppress the temptations which attack me so violently. Fight strongly for me, and conquer these evil beasts (the desires of the flesh) so that peace may come through Your power, so that the fullness of Your praise may resound in a holy place, that is, a pure conscience.

Everyone desires peace, but not everyone cares for the things that go to make true peace.

Do not think, therefore, that you have found true peace if you feel no depression, or that all is well because you suffer no opposition. Do not think that all is perfect if everything happens just as you wish.

The question is asked, on what does peace depend upon?... It consists in offering yourself with all your heart to the divine Will, not seeking your own way either in small or in great matters, either in temporal or eternal things, so that you will continue to give the same thanks to God whether in adversity or prosperity, by seeking all things in their proper light.

Lord, one who desires perfection must make it his first task to keep his mind at all times set on heavenly things.

Preserve me, too, from the many necessities of the body, lest I become ensnared by carnal pleasures.

Even eating, drinking, clothing, and the other necessities of the body are burdensome to the fervent soul. (here is one of many examples in the book that makes your ears perk up. I don't think the statements necessarily imply that Kempis is going so far to say that the material realm or the body is bad, but it certainly seems to suggest that the body is annoying, "burdensome," and gets in the way of spiritual pursuits. Maybe he takes it more extreme in other places, but here it seems to be more tame. Nonetheless, I must admit that I am curious about Christian mystic views of the material and other even more extreme positions that speak of the toil and labor in this realm and not so kind assessments of this physical state. Obviously no one wants to slip into the extreme of the good/spiritual/immaterial vs bad/physical/material distinction and be an out and out heretic. Oh, the heavens and earth the Lord created in the beginning were certainly good as Genesis 1 echoes again and again, but what are the fall effects of the fall? Certainly, even today many would agree experientially that daily physical hardships leaves the soul weary.)

My child, you should give all for all, and be as nothing to yourself. Know that self-love harms you more than anything else in the world.

It is no help, therefore, to multiply external possessions: far better to be indifferent to them and to eradicate the very desire for them from your heart.

Position in life contributes little if the spirit of fervor is missing.

And who is more free than one who desires nothing on earth?

And unless one is set free from all created things one cannot freely attend to divine things. That is why so few men of contemplation are to be found, because few know how to hide themselves from created things which perish eventually.

There is a vast difference between wisdom of a devout, enlightened man and the knowledge of a well-read man.

Many are eager for the contemplative life, but they do not try to practice what is necessary for it. One great obstacle is that they rely on feelings, and care little about denying self.

Hold fast to this brief, concise proverb: "Lose all and you will find all; stop seeking and you will find rest."

Child, trust not your feeling of the moment; it will quickly change into another. As long as you live you are subject to change even against your will, so that at one time you find yourself happy, at another said; at one time calm, at another disturbed; now devout, then lukewarm; now fervent, then lackadaisical; now serious, later light-headed. But the one learned of spirit is above these things, not caring about his feelings, or from where the wind of fickleness blows, but only that his entire purpose is directed to the right and wished-for goal.

Centuries Ago Speak Today Part 3

Here is more from the Imitation of Christ.

You have nothing of your own in which you can glory; rather, you have many things for which you should consider yourself vile; for you are much weaker than you realize.

For these are evils which you suffer rather than commit; and so long as you struggle against them, it is a matter of merit and not of loss.

They do not take into account their own weakness; they follow the emotions of the heart rather than the dictates of reason.

When you have a moment of fervor meditate how you will feel when the fervor leaves you.

I have given all things, I will that all things be returned to Me, and I shall require an exact account.

O gracious and joyful service of God, which makes a man truly free and holy!

That you conform your desires entirely to My good pleasure, and that you be not a lover of self but an earnest doer of My will. Desires often inflame you and drive you madly about, but consider whether you are acting for My honor or out of self-interest.

Sometimes you must use violence on yourself in order to resist your sensual appetite. Pay no attention to what the body likes or dislikes; rather, be sure it is subject to the spirit, even by force if necessary.

Therefore, son, “go not after your lusts, but turn away from you own will.” (Eccl. 18:30).

There is no more troublesome enemy of the soul than self, if it is not in harmony with the spirit. If you wish to overcome the flesh, you must have contempt for self. Because you still love yourself too inordinately, you are afraid to resign yourself wholly to the will of others.

Learn, O dust, to obey! Learn to humble yourself, O earth and clay! Learn to bow down under the feet of other men! Learn to break your own will, to submit to others! Fight self!

My child, let Me do whatever I please with you. I know what is best for you.

The better you dispose yourself to suffer, the more wisely you act and the greater is the reward promised you; you will suffer more easily if your mind and habits are diligently trained to it.

If you desire victory, then, prepare to fight. Without struggle you cannot obtain the crown of patience, and if you refuse to suffer, you refuse the crown. But if you desire the crown, fight manfully and bear up patiently. Without labor there is no rest, and without fighting, no victory.

The fact that I am prone to fall into sin and powerless to resist my passions often oppresses me and confounds me in Your sight. And although I do not give full consent, still the assaults of my passions are very troublesome; I am exceedingly weary of waging this continuous conflict. My infirmity is clear to me, for evil fancies rush in upon me much more easily than they leave.

Strengthen me with heavenly courage, lest an old and wicked enemy, the body, dominate me, a body which is not yet subjected to the spirit and against which I must fight as long as I breathe this miserable life.

How is it possible to love this life—a life soured with so many calamities and miseries? Indeed, how can it even be called life when it generates nothing but pestilence and death? And yet, many love this life and seek their entire happiness in it!

Some things cause us to love the world, other things make us despise it. The lust of the flesh, the desire of the eyes and the pride of life lead men to love it, while the pains and miseries, which are the just consequence of those things, cause hatred and weariness of the world.